the Office, and other stuff we do

so last night was the season premiere of the Office. after bible study, a bunch of us went to watch it. it. was. awful. not even funny, and definitely beyond the 'appropriate' line of humor that was rarely crossed in previous seasons. i really hope they aren't planning to push the line the rest of the year, because i doubt i'll be watching much of it in that case.

so. moving on to other issues. we all have those awkward/rushed moments when you walk by someone you sort-of know, on the sidewalk or in the hallway. they're going one direction and you, the other. you know them just well enough that you should acknowledge them with more than a polite smile, but not well enough for either of you to actually break your pace and start a conversation. or maybe you don't really want to talk to them, but want to maintain a veneer of civility for whatever reason.

from my own experience, those little exchanges usually end up something like:

-hey.
-hey.

OR

-hey, how's your new office?
-it's great, i love it.
-good.
-......take care.

OR

-hey, how's it going?
-great, and you? [which is a completely wrong sentence, but you couldn't appropriately correct it while still keeping an acceptable pace]
-good
-great.

there are bugs in this meticulously crafted system, however. every now and then, your mind might get mixed up on which prefabricated conversation you're having. like so:

-hey, how are you?
-the office is great.
-...good.

or you might even jump ahead, assuming your fellow man has spoken their part already. then a conversation might go like this:

-hey, how's it going? great.
-it's...great.

that happens to everyone, so don't feel bad if your mind goes frozen. it doesn't matter because their mouth is probably also on autopilot so they probably don't even hear you.

however they turn out, i really don't like having these forced "conversations." sometimes, though, i see no way around them. you can't ignore everyone, but you can't have long conversations with everyone either. even if time weren't an issue, you don't know most people well enough to get by the heys. so i have tried to think of alternatives (which oddly end up being less palatable than the brief interchange itself).

the main tactic i've come up with is called Pretend To Be Absorbed In Something. that Something could be the papers in your hand, your iPod (just pretend you can't hear and see at the same time), an ant, your fingernails, or anything in the sky. but, that approach only works if you see them first, without making eye contact; that way it's plausible that you really didn't notice them, because of course you totally would have said hey if you did. however, the other person -- if they suspect your subtle attempts to avoid eye contact yet still not appear unfriendly -- might even be a bit thankful you took the initiative to avoid an obligatory-yet-loathsome five word conversation. it might even be the start of a beautiful friendship in which, by mutual agreement, neither burdens the other with the responsibility of continuing this awkward experiment in human communication.

there are many, many other options, such as The Too-Busy Basketweaver, The Birdie, and The Twist And Shout. i'm sure you want to know what all these mean, but there just isn't time right now.

this is too long already. but, i suppose *here* is where i should insert some thoughtful social commentary about human relationships and how our culture is horrendously self-focused, etc. i can't really think of anything like that right now, even though the iPod thing drives me nuts (is your music really so much more interesting and important than the humanity all around you?)...i could talk about that forever. BUT this is a post of observation and of sharing vital life experience with all my blog-friends, and not one of ranting about social constructs. that will, most assuredly, come later.