accomplishments

we all want to change the world in some way. me, i always figured that my assigned venue was either writing or politics. seeing as how it took me about eight attempts to write that last sentence -- and also because i just used the phrase "seeing as how" -- that leaves politics.

i've had a job in a political realm for...let's see...over four years now, with some time off here and there. and you'd think four years is not nearly long enough to initiate the changing of the world. you are (if you think that) wrong. while many of my projects are very subversive in nature and (obviously) therefore secret, i am going to share some of the changes i've managed to provoke in my time there.

my main project in the works right now is two-pronged. first, i've been gradually converting the entire building to military time, by using 24-hour time in verbal and written communication whenever remotely possible or vaguely relevant to conversation. example: me, to a random person: "hey, do you have the time? i have to be someplace at 16:00. is it past 15:30? oh wait, here's my watch. oh good, it's 15:20...whew, only 15:20. any later, like 15:25, and i'd be late." OR "i was actually home by like, 23 last night." once it's in their minds, they'll start using it in important documents.

secondly, i am also subversively changing the date system. i just really hate when people write dates like this: 11/17/06. first, those ridiculous slashes are just plain messy and (in my opinion) completely unprofessional, especially in handwriting when they are very easily mistaken for 1s. so i write the date one of two ways, either 17-11-06, or 17 Nov 06. spaces and dashes can't be mistaken for for any other numbers. oh, and i bet you didn't even notice the way i converted the time format, did you?? likely you were taken aback by the boldness of using dashes or spaces instead of slashes. and you failed to recognize that i am actually using the much more sensible day-month-year format, instead of month-day-year. and of course i use that (far more reasonable) format on all the permanent records i prepare.

other smaller achievements thus far:
-i converted one of my coworkers to the FOX news channel (we still have no idea why they capitalize all of the letters).
-i came up with an innovative, brilliant plan for organizing the tea bags and napkins in the coffee room.
-i left a lot of really funny quotes and drawings in the Page Notebook for future young (bored) servants of the Legislature to appreciate. and....i'm not really sure what that accomplished, but i'm sure it counts for something.
-most people, i think, have it in their minds that everyone in a political building is boring and ugly. this is mostly true, but i've taken it upon myself, as my civic duty, to flirt shamelessly with all the guys who are there on tour, to convince them otherwise. surely many of them have gone on to become politicians or dynamic community leaders.
-i've beat plenty of people in political discussions. these people are not senators or decision makers, but you know what they say about the trickle-up effect.
-i helped to initiate approval by Management of colored t-shirts underneath the white shirts we as Pages were required to wear. the boys got to wear colored ties, so why shouldn't we be able to have just a tiny bit of color in our wardrobe??
-i "accidentally" spilled scalding coffee on a senator who was running past me on his way to vote on a bill. he missed the vote, and my side won by ONE. (our state does not, therefore, have expanded gambling, and also the gas prices came down.) i always have coffee with me now, just in case (but the particularly liberal legislators have begun carrying Tide Bleach Pens and edging up against the opposite wall when they see me in the hallway).

see, we can change the world. it takes some time, but it helps to have small milestones to help measure your success!