Car

My 2003 Alero, Car, and I have had a good relationship ever since he came into my life last year. His previous owner had beaten him, but his emotional scars were healing and he was ready for a new home. Actually, since I wasn't making any car payments at the time, he wasn't really mine, but his care was entrusted to me by my father. In exchange for transportation, I equipped Car with a nice pinstriping job, a rose hanging from the rearview mirror, a clean interior, and a Tommy Boy-scented car freshener. We were inseparable and life was lovely.

At least, it seemed like everything was fine. Living in the Lovely Midwest, naturally ethanol fuel seems like a good option as it's significantly cheaper than regular fuel. But apparently Car wasn't appreciating the yummy ethanol I'd been feeding him. Does he talk to me about the issue? You'd think he'd have that much decency. But noooOOOooo. Whether or not it was a leftover from his reactionary attitude towards his former owner, he vengefully retaliated by suffocating one of his fuel injectors and antagonizing the rest, ostensibly with leftover-ethanol-residue.

So when my "poor" black-and-white baby started making choking noises and shivering like he had pnuemonia, I did the first thing any benevolent car owner would. I took him right to the car hospital. (He got all excited 'cause he thought it was named after him.) After a quick checkup, they informed me that it wasn't the apocalyptic converter (or whatever) but those fuel injectors which were causing the shivers. It was going to take several car nurses and a doctor to heal my baby that day. And in return for a clean bill of health, they were going to take $803 from my bank account. And they did. Blast! Here I was, happy for a new job to net me several extra thousand dollars a year, hoping to save it for my childrens' college fund, or at least a color Ipod and a decent pair of aviator sunglasses. My parents, bless their hearts, paid for half of Car's healing, since he's technically theirs even though I'm the main user and am making payments now. And Car is back to normal these days, although I have to feed him more expensive cuisine these days in the form of 91-octane petroleum. His tastes have simply matured, I suppose. Sigh...you can't keep 'em kids forever. He must really appreciate the new diet, though, because my fuel mileage has since improved significantly.

toodles for today folks. If Uncle Steve is reading this, congratulations on overcoming the technology! ;)