something big

I just want to be a part of something really big, really important, and really exciting. I want Big Things to Happen.

I was watching TV, vaguely interested in the Hamas election victory being covered. And then they showed the crowd of Palestinians waving flags, cheering, shouting and laughing and crying. Don't worry, I'm not about to don an abaya and join the ranks of middle-Eastern political terrorists. The cause isn't what I'm talking about. But the rippling sea of humanity, the excitement, the passion, the indignation, the fervor and the final consummation of a long-awaited victory are certainly not unique to terrorists or to the Middle East.

It's simply the thought of being part of an event, or an idea, so much larger than yourself that you might even forget why you started in the first place. The idea swallows you, and becomes part of you, until you don't think much about anything else. Maybe you become irrational and so loyal to the cause you're willing to do anything, including give your life. That's the mark of a truly driven individual: the cold but invigorating realization -- demonstrated with the act of giving your life in service or death -- that your existence, as Humphrey Bogart put it, "don't amount to a hill of beans" in comparison to the greatness of The Cause.

It's pure goosebumpy passion, drive, devotion, commitment and exclusive loyalty which drive people to do things they normally wouldn't. To an outsider anyways, this sounds a lot like being in love.

But what would compel someone to think outside themselves, to disregard their own lives? Certainly emotions have a lot to do with it. I don't know if this makes sense, but the gift of a life is definitely not normal. That's why ideas are so big -- bigger than one person, bigger than a state or country or all the people that have ever lived -- because they make people do un-normal things, outside the natural state of equilibrium. Ideas are spiritual; they define lives and end lives; without them, people die inside. And that, my friends, is why it is so utterly crucial to choose the right Causes.

hmmm....I guess I didn't mean to get all philosophical on you. I just want to be part of Something Big...and the terrorists on TV just quickened it. And I have a feeling there's Something Big on my horizon, although I don't know what it is yet.

I just wish it would happen soon...because I'm getting bored.